Inspiration for the Week

Spring is here! The weather is getting warmer, the flowers are blooming, and the sun is shining brighter than ever! 2010 is the Year of Action!
Below are a few tips on starting your new season off right, based loosely from an article in Essence Magazine. I read this a few months back, and found it extremely helpful, so I had to share it! Read on and please add on to the list!

1.) You are the most important person in your life. Act that way. Treat yourself with respect.

2.) Lose any guilt.

3.) Invest in yourself. Including your physical health, emotional and mental health. Try to exercise on a regular basis, cut back on unhealthy behaviors. When you look good, you feel good! Pamper yourself! Feel good from the inside out!

4.) Let go of the toxic, negative people in your life. Now!!!

5.) Embrace your worthiness. What has been done to you does not define who you are, and neither does what you have done. God is doing a new thing! He has made all things new; your past is exactly that, history.

6.) Forgive yourself first. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, it really is okay to let things GO. Holding on to any pain does not help, it only hinders.

7.) Keep your heart open. Acknowledge the good people in your life, show them that you appreciate them. To have a friend you must first be one. Stay thankful and grateful at all times. It does not have to be as good as it is.

8.) Find out what you want out of life, and GO GET IT! Figuring out what you want is the hardest part. There is absolutely nothing you can not do!

Life is complicated! But our attitudes does not have to be.

Golddigging vs. Standards

It's 2010 ladies and gentlemen, and the word golddigger is thrown around so loosely any woman wanting a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of is handcuffed, taken to the plank, and called a "golddigger!", right before she's tossed off to her death. Ok, maybe it does not go THAT far, but goldddigger is a term that I find incredibly misunderstood and inaccurate for a number of reasons.

First of all, I am 100% convinced that the word golddigger was invented by a man. Why wouldn't it be? Do you think a woman would create a word so offensive when she desires a man to be....oh how do I word it...oh yeah, a man. It seems when a woman desires a man who actually acts like one; a provider, father, and leader, and of course somewhat financial stable, she is demeaned, looked down upon, and cursed as if she's asking for too much.

Growing up with a dad in my home, I am nothing short of a daddy's girl. I am the epitome of a spoiled brat, and that is something I am working on. I am a work in progress! Being born in the Woodland Projects in Cleveland,Ohio to a two family house, to the infamous East Cleveland, to the Leave it to Beaver gated community of the good ole` burbs, all glory to God I have never experienced lack. Through all the struggles my parents endured, I never knew about the likes of one. My needs were always met, regardless of what the world attempted to break us down. My father is the epitome of what you would call a MAN. A man's man. He's a big brother, that crazy uncle, the coolest male friend, and the strict father all balled up into one. So I know what it is like to be taken good cared of. I am used to greatness. I am accustomed to having more than enough; I know that blessings literally stalk me. I enjoy the finer things out of life, why else would God give me expensive taste?

But the difference between a golddigger and a woman of my caliber is that I have my own. Thanks to God, I have my own car, own house, educated by the best schools money can buy, and the mind and relationship with Christ to endure it all, and continue towards success. 50 Cent said it best, "It don't matter if I leave her, she got her own Visa." A golddigger is 100% dependent on what her "sponsor" (oh, thanks Teiarra Mari) gives her. She does not have her own, so in order to maintain a lifestyle, said golddigger is always salivating on all fours (both literally and physically) for her next sponsor, or as I like to call them, pimps.

Read this excerpt from a recent interview with Diamond, I mean, LisaRaye McCoy from Black Men's Magazine on her alleged gold digging tendencies.

"The perception that they have of me-I could give a damn about. I dug for gold in highschool. I'm a platinum girl now. I'm an international person now. I don't even like taking out the trash. I don't dig for anything. I don't have a garden either. Every relationship that you embark on is some kind of business relationship. You have to protect yourself... So you better look for someone that's going somewhere who's trying to take you with them."

I actually agree with what she is saying...not so much the trash part but the point that she made is well taken and validated. Should we NOT be looking for a man who gots it going on, just as equally as we got it going on? Why is that frowned upon? Why are we quick to be judged by the ugly term golddigger because we want some type of stability in our relationships? Since when was it ok to be homeless, or living paycheck to paycheck?

Money is NOT everything. It will not buy you love, happiness, or whatever else you think you need to be a whole person. But money is needed to survive. You need money for just the basics out of life, why are women criticized for having standards? You can work at UPS, you don't have to own it. I am sure that about 70% of women in general would be content with a man who does not make six figures, I sure am. I am also content with a man who may be making less than I am. It is more so about a man's motivation to be somewhere, to go somewhere. I am ok with you working entry level at your marketing firm, but a driven man with set goals, self-made, and determined to have a better life is so sexy and attractive. Men it is not about your bank acoount, but about your ambition. Do you have any? Are you satisfied living in your mothers basement? If so, than you are certainly not the man for me, does that make me a golddigger?

Does it make a woman a golddigger if she wants her man to be equally, or at least somewhat equally yoked to her? Does it make a woman a golddigger if she desires a man with potential, than a guy who is A-OK with a $10.00 hour job? The term golddigging is nothing less than a man's excuse for irresponsibility. An excuse for selfishness, an excuse for tit for tat. Why can't a woman have standards? Especially a woman who knows her worth, a woman of virtue, a Proverbs 31 woman. Why should she settle for a Big Mac when she can have Hyde Park's Steakhouse? If having standards, and wanting a man to be financially stable enough to when and if you are in a bind, and may need temporary financial assistant is capable of helping, instead of us both looking at each other dumb, then yes, I am digging, digging, digging, for gold. Love pays not nan bill. Not many women get married to a man who does not have a job, or who is at least not looking for one, hence the word motivation. A man is naturally born a provider and a protector. Why at the slightest gasp some men flee these responsibilites, grasping at the term golddigging as an excuse for chilvary.

Your worth requires it, he'll admire it and he'll see you are priceless. As long as you have your own, dig, girls, dig!

Thoughts?

*UPDATED* #NowPlaying

Summer Anthem!




Sounds like the old Usher from his Confession days!

I Admit...

Sometimes we all need a good ole' admit it day. I know as Black women we attempt to uphold the SBW Syndrome, also known as Stron Black Woman Syndrome; being strong all the time, and all the time being strong. Giving of ourselves relentlessly, unforgivingly forgetting our needs and our wants. Lately I have learned so much about myself, Thankyou Lord for gentle conviction and loving kindess being patient with me.

I look at a piece of paper as a canvas. Unlike a diary, on a piece of paper I write down what I admit to. Admit to myself, as a woman, as a daughter of the King, as a mother, as an everything. It acts like a mirror without the reflection. Instead of looking back at your eyes, you look back at what you look like internally.

What do you admit to? What do you know you need to change in your life, but are so afraid of change that fear has crippled your growth? I'll go first, and hopefully you too will do this at home.

I ADMIT...
*I admit that I don't trust God nearly as much as I should.
*I admit that I am too hard on myself. I beat myself up for the mistakes I make. I find it hard to forgive myself.
*I admit sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough.
*I admit to doubting myself, sometimes sabatoging myself.
*I admit to allowing my past hinder my future. I look back more often than I'd like too, even though God himself told me on numerous occasions that my past can not even be compared to my future.
*I admit to procrastinating.

What about you? My list is way longer, but I'll leave the rest between God and I. Write what you admit to in the comments, I'm eager to hear. We can all be of inspiration to one another. Don't be afraid to do some internal cleansing. Don't let your emotions and feelings get to a dangerous point. Let it out, and work at it.

And This Is Only The Beginning...

I know I have been missing in action but do not fret, I'm baaccckkkkk!!!! Life has been so busy and God has been so good! Everyday God shows me who He is. Everyday God gently, but with conviction lets me know that He is God, and not I. That it is HE who is in control, and not I. Every passing hour I grow more grateful for who He is to me, and His undeserving love and mercy toward a wretch like me. He allows me to understand the situations that have occured in my past; they were all stepping stones to my destiny.

Where are you stepping? Forwards? Backwards? Or are you standing still? Are you just floating through life? Taking life as it give it to you? Are you trusting in God? Are you resting in His overwhelming love? His loving arms that never fails you, even when your wrong?

God revealed to me that this is JUST the beginning. I look at how far I have come, and it is utterly unspeakable how good God is, how far He's brought me, how good He is in my life! And this is just the start!

I GOT BAPTISED THIS WEEKEND!, and it was one of the most powerful, spiritual, emotional moments I have ever experienced! As I was dumped in the water, the swishing and swashing of the water against my body, I thought about the death and resurrection of our God. He took me to a deeper level with Him. Thank you God.

And this is only the beginning... I am so ready! Are you? Are you ready for God to take you to a higher level? Are you ready for your upgrade?

Racism Alive and Well in 2010?!

Read This Invitation To The “Compton Cook Out,” Held at UC San Diego February 2010 As Posted On Facebook:

“February marks a very important month in American society. No, i’m not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I’m talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.

For guys: I expect all males to be rockin Jersey’s, stuntin’ up in ya White T (XXXL smallest size acceptable), anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High/low top Jordans or Dunks, Chains, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc.

For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks-Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes – they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red. They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as “constipulated”, or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as “hmmg!”, or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises,grunts, and faces. The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these “respectable” qualities throughout the day.

Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto.

We will be serving 40’s, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank- which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered- or not."

WOWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Are you serious? When I first read this, tears came to my eyes. Is this really how we are portrayed? Is this how the white race REALLY views us; behind our backs, behind closed doors, is the N word spoken rampantly? I dont know why this weighed so heavily on my heart, especially the extremely offensive and sad description of the "ghetto chick" and how she dresses. The question is, who is really to blame? I dont think we have to look very far for the answer. Just turn on the tube, and the absence of successful African American sitcoms speaks volumes. The so-called "reality" shows portray the stereotypes of African Americans *coughs* (Real Housewives of Atlanta) *coughs*. BET is consumed with hip-hop videos portraying the description above perfectly. The women in these videos shaking what they mama's gave them dont help either. The Madea's, Shenaynay's, and Wanda's are fun and entertaining, but to a white woman in the good ole' country side of Iowa, these images are all they see of a black person.

Is there ever a point where entertainment takes it too far? Should entertainment be confined to "free speech" ,regardless of the images portrayed and the stereotypes enforced? When does entertainment and the entertainers become responsible for there actions? Or do they even have a responsibility? Do they even care?!

A few San Diego college students ignorant and mistaken views on my beautiful honey skin should not have this effect on me, but it does. This invitation was nothing short of stupidity, and offensive in the least, ESPECIALLY during Black History Month, where the powerful and under rated history of African Americans are actually celebrated and taught (unlike the History books in grammar schools all across America). Some suggest throw a "Trailer Trash" party, where the girls where cut off tank tops, wear dry, stringy blonde wigs, dirty sandals and cut-off denim shorts with a couple Coronas, and the men come dressed in cowboys hats, fitted light jeans, plaid shirts, and their sexual partner in tow, who just happens to also be their first cousin. Or some suggest, Yeah, let them have their party, but let them have it actually in Compton, then let's sit back and enjoy the festivities (pass the popcorn please...oh yeah and the police! Lol).

Now, this is not a dog at white people. It is actually a wake up call! The Black race is the only race where when one person does something, it is automatically boomeranged to the whole entire race. One disappointing Black athlete, and all of a sudden it's all Black athletes. We are the only race where what one person does, another person of the same color across the country can be discriminated against as a result. The media, entertainers, and the everyday working Joe's need to take responsibility for their actions and do better. This is not about a offensive party, it's about our distorted image that WE ourselves are portraying. For some reason, Lil' Wayne, Nicki Minaj and all the gold tooth toting, donkey butt carrying, different color weave wearing celebrities come to mind.

Racism is alive and well, even in the decade of 2010! My father, Marvin Wilson was alive when Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was fighting for equal rights for African Americans! Do you realize that that was NOT that long ago? Your parents, or at the least grandparents was alive when we were STILL fighting for equal rights! That is so amazing to me! My great grandmother and sisters lived in Jackson, Mississippi still fighting just to keep their lives! My grandmother and her sisters was the first generation of my family that settled in the northern states of Illinois, Ohio and Indiana.

So when you think about it, 1968, the year of MLK Jr.'s death is not a distant memory. Which makes it scarier than ever. Has any progress been made...at all?

The Aftermath of Valentines Day

Valentine's Day can be the most happiest, joyfulest (is that even a word), wonderfulest holiday for a woman, or the exact opposite, one of lonliness, confusion, and cold stone bitterness. :( In my humble opinion, Valentines Day is what you make it! I have come to a point in my life that my joy is not dependent on anyone, not a man, friend, shoe or bag...(ok, maybe new shoes, but I digress...). My hope is in God, my very bestest Valentine who is the best Valentine a girl could ever have. That's why I believe V-Day landed on a Sunday; on the Sabbath, for all of us to enjoy the one who TRULY loves us the most. When you think about it, is there really even a comparison? Shoot, forget roses, my Valentine CREATED the roses! My Valentine spoke the color of the roses, and it was. Red, pink ,white? Take your pick! Forget a sunrise, my God CREATED the sun, told it when to rise and when to set!

With God, the perfect Valentine, I never have to worry if He'll leave me, or if I could trust Him. With God, He loves me unconditionally, flaws and all. He loves everything about me, despite my sometimes trippy attitude, occasional pity parties of 1 and my ungratefullness. He is my Valentine when it's not even Valentines Day!

If you didn't have anyone to take you out, take yo' self out! What you waiting for a man to do it fo'? If no one bought you roses, I hoped you bought yourself some. I hope you took care of yourself, like I did. I hope you treated yourself, and learned to love the company of YOU more than anybody else. I hope your happiness wasn't depended on a cheap dinner and a washed up movie. I hope you recognized your worth, and realized it more than ever that God is all that you need. He has you right where He wants you. He loves you so much, and I thank God that as much as I am in love with Him, He's in love with me!

I had the BESTESTESTEST Valentines weekend, one that no couples could have compared. Check mate.