As we mature, we look back over our young tender years and realize all the mistakes we've made. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20; and it is so funny how AFTER the fact you realize all the red flags. AFTER the fact you see now what you should have saw then. But the trouble is not in making mistakes, it is in not learning from them. Test are always repeated until the lesson is learned. If you continue to fail God's test, you will repeat it until you get the message, learn the lesson, and do better next time. Making mistakes is the only way to grow, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. At least you know now not to make that same mistake again; labeling yourself as "insane" (trying the same thing repeatedly expecting a different result).
At 24 years old, there was some things mama just could not teach me. The best teacher is this little thing called, Life. Showing me the good, the bad, and the ugly. No amount of lectures, screaming or berating could keep me from doing what I wanted to do! And as I have gotten older, there were just some things I wished I would have listen to...
1.) A man is not chase worthy.
Ladies, we are not in the business of trying to keep a man who don't want to be kept (Poetic Justice, holla!) By nature a man is a hunter, he has the mentally to chase, hunt, and go after what he wants. The man in all cases should be chasing YOU! For you are the prize! If a man wants you, please believe he will SHOW you. A man will go after what he wants, and it will be clear, no doubts, no questions. He will actually make the effort to show his interest, and to follow through. And guess what, if he is not doing that, he is just not that into you! Period. You don't have to convince anyone to be with you. And I am sure you don't want someone who needs convincing.
2.) Credit really does matter.
Okay, so I am in the mood to get a new car for graduation! (And the church says, Amen!). First thing my mom asked me about was my credit. My first response was, "My huh? Come again?!" I had no idea how important credit really is! Your finances are so important, it effects everything you do! A FICO score 499 and less means, yep, you guessed it, you got bad credit homie! But there are many ways to prevent this from occuring. First, stop living above your means! If you are spending more money than you are making, you should take a serious look at what you are spending on, how often, and why. Impulsive buys, much? Do you really need your third pair of black pumps? Are you spending your electric bill money on an outfit for Saturday night? It is all about priorities.
When I receive any monies, my order of payments are as follows..
1.) Church Tithes/Offering
I pay 10% of WHATEVER I receive to God, FIRST. My job is NOT my source, He is. He provides for me everything that I need.
2.) Rent
It's pretty nice having a roof over your head, huh? It is so nice to have a place to call home. My home. I pay my rent, on time, and sometimes in advance because if I have nothing else to call my own, I have a place to go home to.
3.) Savings Account
After I pay the church and rent, I pay MYSELF. I put a minimum 10% in my savings account for a rainy day, future down payment, emergencies, etc.
4.) Other Bills
Electric, Phone, Cable...in that order. Priorities!
5.) Other Expenses
This includes money for gas, prescriptions, or any other expense that is a NEED that I may need to spend on throughout the month.
6.) Fun Money!
Now with fun money, you can either save it, buy Starbucks, or shop. This is pocket money that you choose to do with, AFTER you have completed 1-5.
If you have credit cards, be sure to pay them on time. That is so imperative, as your credit reflects what you DON'T do more than what you DO.
3.) 
Self Love, First Love
You are the only one who is with you all day, everyday. You should be your own best friend; you should enjoy your own company more than anyone elses. Many times we find surround ourselves with people to validate us, to give us a stamp of approval. There is no reason to when God, is our true bestie, in that midnight hour and all throughout our busy, stressful workdays.
4.) Those That Matter Dont' Mind, Those That Mind Don't Matter.
Folks, it's time to take some personal inventory! Look around you, look in your contacts, and delete all the people who are causing you more misery than happiness...right now. *Waits* Now that you have that completed, you must realize how precious you are, and how valuable your friendship is! Only people who are positive, doing productive things in there life, doing it "betta and betta and betta" (shoutout Katt Williams!) with each passing years are allowed to befriend you. When you see better, you do better! If you are around slackers, who could care less, negative energy can transfer over to you. You need people who will inspire you, motivate you for better, not someone who goes backwards or stands still.
5.) Stop Questioning Everything and Trust God!
When I was 18, I wish I trusted God more. I wished I looked to Him more, had a deeper relationship with Him. I wish I would have surrendered to His perfect will. I wish I stopped questioning everything, I wish I would not have tried so hard, I wish I would have been so stubborn, I wish I did not cling to things God himself was trying to take away. I wish I paid attention to red flags and all God's warning signs.
I wish I knew Him better when I was 18.
But thankyou Lord, now He has me right where He wants me! Living with purpose, overflowing joy, unfair favor, and testimony to share, God is teaching me who He is. I noticed the hand of God in my past situations, even though I did not see them.
WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN AT 18?
(I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR RESPONSES! :) )
