Why Single Women Give Married/Committed Women Advice

Ok, people. I MUST get this off my chest! So, please bare with me. Sit back, and just read. You ready? Ok.

As a motivational speaker, author, writer, actress (and the list goes on and on, but I digress), to sum it up, I give advice. My book series, "Miss Thang!" is a non-fictional inspirational Christian series dedicated to women...all colors, all ages, and walks of life. (Misss Thang! Destiny Fulfilled: A Testimonial Guide to Divine Purpose and Greatness available NOW on all online retailers...by the way). Things that I've learned throughout my life for myself, and things that God allowed me NOT to deal with, but witness. But one of the things I hear a lot that just grinds my ears are why single women give advice to women who are in relationships. Single gals receive so much slack!!! WHY DO PEOPLE THINK JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY HAPPY, AND THE SINGLE PERSON IN YOUR CIRCLE IS BY DEFAULT ANGRY, BITTER, AND JEALOUS?! Let's explore this topic further.

Now that I am established in my career, (though not at the level I want to be, but I digress...again), I will take this time to break it down to anyone to feels this way.

FIRST OF ALL, just because a woman is single, does NOT, I repeat, does NOT mean she doesn't know about relationships! Just because she's not in one AT THIS MOMENT, does not necessarily mean her advice is naive or wrong or unjustified. If said single woman has eva, eva eva eva eva eva eva been in a relationship, then she has some type of idea about it. Maybe said single woman does not want a relationship, just got out of one, waiting on God, or any reason you can insert here, does not make her advice any less valuable than the chick next to you whose in a relationship. It's all about the individual! There's some happy single people, and there's some genuinely happy committed/married women. The key to getting advice from someone is to evaluate their level of happiness, regardless of relationship status. Your best friend whose in a relationship, but miserable as all hell can be giving you bad advice because SHE's unhappy. But she's in a relationship, though. Just because your in a relationship doesn't make your advice the end all be all of advice when it comes to a single persons. A lot of married people are miserable! And if this fact was not true, why is the divorce rate so high? Your miserable MARRIED girlfriend can give you bad advice too, because SHE'S miserable!

SECOND OF ALL, married women willingly tell us your business and ask for our advice. People on the outside can most definitely see better then people in the inside, and can give a better perspective of the situation...objectively. But if people in relationships don't want unmerited advice from your single friends...stop asking them! Stop telling them your business. People in healthy relationships keep their mouth closed...have you noticed that? It's only the drama filled ones that need advice all the time.

THIRD OF ALL, married women shouldn't give single women advice! If you been married for the last 10 years...what you know about the dating scene? You been out the game for a minute now! I hear so often from bloggers and the people who like to comment of entertainment blogs about Halle Berry, her short lived relationships that always end in divorce or breakup. My question is...Do you ever think Halle actually has...standards? Did you ever think that Halle just don't put up with the SAME stuff you decide to? Think about that one. Single does not mean lonely, and relationship doesn't automatically equal happiness.

People, I get my advice from the Word. The Word of God...it's the ultimate self help book. Any question you need you can find in the Word. Aside from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I get my advice from my mommy. A woman who I know loves me unconditionally, never has any ill motives for me, ALWAYS has my best interest at heart, and has my back even when I'm wrong. Married over 30 years...she knows a little somethin something bout life.

I'm tired of the single girl catching all the slack. Single girls are DOING IT! Having standards, waiting on the will of God, doing things His way does pay off. Maybe married women can take a note or two from a single sista.

So the next time you ask someone for advice, take note of how they are in that area. It's all about the individual.

Your Thoughts?

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Quotes to Make You Smile!

"Talk Black, Live White, Get Green."

"It's true we don't know what we got until we lose it...it's also true we never know what we've been missing until it arrives."

"Never take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway."

"Girls are like phones...We love to be held, talked to...but if you press the wrong button you will be disconnected!"

"Behind every successful woman is a surprised man."

"Men are like bank accounts, without a lot of money they dont generate a lot of interest."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take that chance?"

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?!"

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"

"Always remember, you're unique just like everybody else."

"There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot."

"If a word is spelled wrong in the dictionary, how will we ever know?"

"Isn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?"

Are You A Dime?

I swear every other song on the radio refers to a woman who is a red bone, thick, long hair, etc. I swear every hip hop video on the t.v. shows only women of lighter skin with European features, and Latin, Brazilian models. These messages being portray send a silent message that if a woman who does not look like what we are referring to every song is not attractive.

Fortunately, attractiveness goes far beyond the external.

Which then makes me question what beauty really is. What makes someone beautiful or not beautiful? Although beauty is 100% subjective, everyone definition varies, I do not think, or at least I hope, men are not as shallow as we think. Yes, they may have their preferences, but I think that women are much harder, and much more judgmental of both themselves and other women.

We judge other women by a much higher standard when it comes to beauty. Which begs the question, "Are You A Dime?"

In my opinion, a dime is comprised of many different aspects. If a woman has a gorgeous face, but a brain running on empty, she's not a dime.

If a woman has a banging body, but is "skrong in the face" and people don't claim you, she's not a dime.

If a woman has 19 degrees, two businesses, and a mansion by the lake, but is not physically attractive, she's not a dime.

Being a dime, ten piece, 5 Star, or whatever the new pet name is currently, is not just one thing.

**A bad bish is a woman who has it all.

She may not be where she wants to be, but thank God she's not where she used to be.

A bad bish is about her business, she is determined, and successful in her own right.

A bad bish doesn't follow trends, she makes them.

A bad bish does not need validation from a man, group of friends, clique, sorority, or career. As long as God is pleased with her, she is justified.

A bad bish walks in a room and all eyes are on her.

A bad bish follow God's lead, surrendering to His will, because she knows when she let's go and let's God, the world is her playground.

A bad bish knows her worth, she does not settle.

A bad bish is a virtuous woman, living for God, a higher authority, living to please Him, and no one else.

A bad bish is educated, knows what she wants and goes after it.

A bad bish does not compete with another woman, she competes with herself.

A bad bish does not wait for opportunities to pop up, she creates them.

She makes her own reality. She works more than she hopes.

A bad bish learns from her mistakes, a dime uses what was designed to break her to excel her.

A bad bish takes care of herself, well groomed, swag on 100 thousand trillion!

Happiness, love, humility, and favor looks good on a bad bish.**

So, are you really a dime?

Why I'm Still A Fan of Chris Brown...

Even after all the drama that Chris Brown has endured, though 100% self-inflicted, I am still an avid fan of Chris Brown. Regardless of what your personal opinions of him are, his singing, dancing, and performing talents are strictly undeniable.


I find it incredibly funny how quickly people judge one another. The all so famous "Chriannagate" scandal was just one prime example.

**I never condone physical violence! By a man or a woman, it is never justified to put your hands on another person!**

Now that I got that out of the way, no one knows what went down the now infamous night between Rihanna and Chris, only they and God will ever truly know. It is not my place, nor anyone else's to attempt to try to figure it out either. No one is in a position to judge anyone!!!!!! That's what makes it so hilarious to me how people are quick to chant his name as,"Beat her down Brown", or "Fist Brown", when they are not in the public eye and their actions are not on a world stage. When you point the finger, four point back directly to you. I am positive that more than half the people who now claim to hate Chris like a vampire hates garlic are the ones who have more than enough skeletons in their own damn closets. But no one sees them; or at least the whole entire world doesn't. I am sure that their are elements of your past, (and present, for some) that are not favorable to you or your image (self included); things you most likely regret doing, or ashamed or embarassed for anyone to fnd out you've done.

I find it funny how certain celebrities are indeed treated differently when it comes to the law. Charlie Sheen, a repeat domestic abuse offender, recently had been convicted of domestic abuse. This middle aged white man received a slap on the wrist and a brief probation sentence. I guess the star of one of the most popular prime time comedies, "Two and a Half Men", must be available for tapings!

Let's not forget R. Kelly. A living legend undoubtedly, but for more reasons than his sex-ed up ballads. Even after his sex tape molestation case and alleged underage marriage with a then 15 year old Aaliyah, Kells continued to pump out hits; his sexsay songs in constant radio rotation.

It is easy to forget that Chris Brown is human, too! *gasps in shock* He is not perfect. Internally I laugh at anyone who holds a grudge against a person THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!

People act as if they were the one in the car with Chris, and not Rihanna! They are more avid about the whole situation more than Rihanna is! Both parties have moved on, looking to their bright futures that lie ahead for them. If Rihanna, the person who the offense was actually committed to, forgave and forgot (?), how silly does it look for another person who they will never cross paths with hold a grudge against Chris? How silly is it to not like a person you have never met?

You can dislike his songs, his dance routines, his performances all you want, but bashing one man who made a mistake in his personal life will unfortunately not bring you any more joy into your life. All it does is cast out negative energy which always returns to it's sender. They are celebrities, their job is to entertain us. I am still a huge fan and supporter of Chris Brown. Besides when he makes songs like this...

And Most Definitely This...




What's not to like? :) If you've never made a mistake, puhleaze cast the first stone. *Waits*........

Why I'm Not On Facebook

**Update 10-27-2010:
As a returned member to the Facebook community, I was strongly prompted to erase this post! But I decided against it because I still feel the same way! I use Facebook for promotional uses only; I'm reaching an audience that I never could have before, my book and business being exposed to people all around the world, and yes, re-connecting with people I've lost contact with. So, please don't read this post and think I am a hypocrite. And before you go, make sure you add me! Lol! Facebook.com/IAmAngelaWilson**

Okkkk...So I have finally concluded that I am probably the last person on this earth that is not on Facebook. Everyone has a Facebook, and everyone asks me to get one. But for some reason, as hard as I freakin` frackin` try, I just can not get into the Facebook!

There are numerous reasons as to why I feel this way...


First of all, Facebook is in my business a little too much! News reports to this day still suggest that Facebook is used to for identity theft, the very reason why Facebook was created. Not to "socially network" with friends from 3rd grade, but to steal information that you enter.


Second of all, I hate the fact that a person has 1200 Facebook friends, but only knows no more than 75 of them. Most of the friends people have on Facebook they have never met in their entire lives, and will never meet in their entire lives. There just random people from across the country who they online befriend. If we were to really get technical, if we were to count our true friends...most of us would not be able to count beyond the fingers on one hand...let alone 1000 plus random people.

Third of all, your business is made so easy to access. In 2004, when Facebook became the new "it" thing, it was cool and simplistic. Cool privacy settings, simple layout, etc. It was when Facebook started the "news feeds" was when I knew Facebook was NOT for me. Before people at least had to search for your business, now thanks to news feeds, as soon as you log in, all of your recent activity is laid out perfectly for all of your 1200 friends to view! How fun! In addition to the complications of Facebook, people really do put their business on their profiles! AND PLEASE NOTE, ANYTHING ABOUT YOU IS BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Contrary to popular belief, business is not just the super personal information about yourself.


Example: I started my period today! Yikes!
I just got the best sex everrrrrr!

This of course is TMI, but anything that you put on your profile is considered business, especially pictures. If one of your 1200 friends wants to know what you did this weekend, they look on your Facebook. If one of your 1200 friends wants to know is your single, they look on your Facebook. If one of your 1200 friends wants to know who you hang out with, they look in your albums. And since people have 20+ albums, this "business" is not hard to find.

Fourth of all, your profile is never truly deleted. Last year, I attempted to give Facebook a try. As soon as I put in my old email and password, my whole previous profile popped up! Friends, pictures, everything that I had put on my profile years ago in 2006, WAS STILL RIGHT THERE! Heck, I was still getting tagged in pictures and I wasn't even on Facebook! That bothers me. That bothers me to know that "deactivating" my account means just that, deactivate, but still keeps all of my information, for as long as they want, and do with it whatever they want. Do you know that once you upload pictures, information, text into Facebooks server...it is never deleted?! As soon as you hit the upload button, your pictures become the property of Facebook. They can do whatever they want with it. Sorry, I"ll pass.


Fifth of all, employers look to Facebook pages during the hiring process. Employees have both been fired from their jobs and/or lost out on a job opportunity. Studies have shown that employers look to social networking sites to look up on potential employers. Even if your page is private (which is really helpful even though you got 1200 friends), a lot of people accept friend request regardless of if they know you or not, giving clear access to everything on your profile. One of these "friends" could be your interviewer who will see that picture of you giving that one dude from that one party a drunken lap dance that one night.

Sixth of all, there is a reason why I don't talk to you anymore. If I have not heard from you since high school, please believe there is a reason for it! All the people in my life who I love, care about, and desire to have a friendship with...guess what, I do! It is nice to hear from people that you went to preschool with, but it is not that serious and I really don't care to know all that much. I really enjoyed Facebook when it was created just for college students, you know, way back in 2004. But then Facebook became public, and instead of needing a college email address to access, all you needed was an email address to access. Opening the doors for predators, lames, fake profiles, etc. Sorry, I'll pass.

Seventh of all, I dislike Facebook thugs. I have no respect for internet gangstas. The people who hide behind their keyboards and use Facebook for their battles. I'm sorry, what you put in your status does not make you hard. What you put in your comments on somebody elses profile does not make you a G. Cowards use Facebook as their platform to solve their "beefs".

Eighth of all, the profile picture of women posing slutty is not cute. Bending over showing your "Assets" will not change your face. It is not classy and is mediocre soft porn. Those sexy flicks you paid $400 dollars for your man should be kept between, guess who, you and your man! The whole world does not need to see every crack and crevice. Hoping people will see your "sexsay" profile picture to up your Facebook friend count will not bring you more joy in your life. A nice beauty shot will do just fine, please and thankyou.


For promotions sake, I will have to join Facebook when my book is released in July. All these reasons and more are reasons why I think Facebook is the devil. And I hate the devil.

5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18

As we mature, we look back over our young tender years and realize all the mistakes we've made. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20; and it is so funny how AFTER the fact you realize all the red flags. AFTER the fact you see now what you should have saw then. But the trouble is not in making mistakes, it is in not learning from them. Test are always repeated until the lesson is learned. If you continue to fail God's test, you will repeat it until you get the message, learn the lesson, and do better next time. Making mistakes is the only way to grow, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. At least you know now not to make that same mistake again; labeling yourself as "insane" (trying the same thing repeatedly expecting a different result).



At 24 years old, there was some things mama just could not teach me. The best teacher is this little thing called, Life. Showing me the good, the bad, and the ugly. No amount of lectures, screaming or berating could keep me from doing what I wanted to do! And as I have gotten older, there were just some things I wished I would have listen to...

1.) A man is not chase worthy.

Ladies, we are not in the business of trying to keep a man who don't want to be kept (Poetic Justice, holla!) By nature a man is a hunter, he has the mentally to chase, hunt, and go after what he wants. The man in all cases should be chasing YOU! For you are the prize! If a man wants you, please believe he will SHOW you. A man will go after what he wants, and it will be clear, no doubts, no questions. He will actually make the effort to show his interest, and to follow through. And guess what, if he is not doing that, he is just not that into you! Period. You don't have to convince anyone to be with you. And I am sure you don't want someone who needs convincing.

2.) Credit really does matter.

Okay, so I am in the mood to get a new car for graduation! (And the church says, Amen!). First thing my mom asked me about was my credit. My first response was, "My huh? Come again?!" I had no idea how important credit really is! Your finances are so important, it effects everything you do! A FICO score 499 and less means, yep, you guessed it, you got bad credit homie! But there are many ways to prevent this from occuring. First, stop living above your means! If you are spending more money than you are making, you should take a serious look at what you are spending on, how often, and why. Impulsive buys, much? Do you really need your third pair of black pumps? Are you spending your electric bill money on an outfit for Saturday night? It is all about priorities.

When I receive any monies, my order of payments are as follows..

1.) Church Tithes/Offering

I pay 10% of WHATEVER I receive to God, FIRST. My job is NOT my source, He is. He provides for me everything that I need.

2.) Rent

It's pretty nice having a roof over your head, huh? It is so nice to have a place to call home. My home. I pay my rent, on time, and sometimes in advance because if I have nothing else to call my own, I have a place to go home to.

3.) Savings Account

After I pay the church and rent, I pay MYSELF. I put a minimum 10% in my savings account for a rainy day, future down payment, emergencies, etc.

4.) Other Bills

Electric, Phone, Cable...in that order. Priorities!

5.) Other Expenses

This includes money for gas, prescriptions, or any other expense that is a NEED that I may need to spend on throughout the month.

6.) Fun Money!

Now with fun money, you can either save it, buy Starbucks, or shop. This is pocket money that you choose to do with, AFTER you have completed 1-5.

If you have credit cards, be sure to pay them on time. That is so imperative, as your credit reflects what you DON'T do more than what you DO.

3.) Self Love, First Love

You are the only one who is with you all day, everyday. You should be your own best friend; you should enjoy your own company more than anyone elses. Many times we find surround ourselves with people to validate us, to give us a stamp of approval. There is no reason to when God, is our true bestie, in that midnight hour and all throughout our busy, stressful workdays.

4.) Those That Matter Dont' Mind, Those That Mind Don't Matter.

Folks, it's time to take some personal inventory! Look around you, look in your contacts, and delete all the people who are causing you more misery than happiness...right now. *Waits* Now that you have that completed, you must realize how precious you are, and how valuable your friendship is! Only people who are positive, doing productive things in there life, doing it "betta and betta and betta" (shoutout Katt Williams!) with each passing years are allowed to befriend you. When you see better, you do better! If you are around slackers, who could care less, negative energy can transfer over to you. You need people who will inspire you, motivate you for better, not someone who goes backwards or stands still.

5.) Stop Questioning Everything and Trust God!

When I was 18, I wish I trusted God more. I wished I looked to Him more, had a deeper relationship with Him. I wish I would have surrendered to His perfect will. I wish I stopped questioning everything, I wish I would not have tried so hard, I wish I would have been so stubborn, I wish I did not cling to things God himself was trying to take away. I wish I paid attention to red flags and all God's warning signs.

I wish I knew Him better when I was 18.

But thankyou Lord, now He has me right where He wants me! Living with purpose, overflowing joy, unfair favor, and testimony to share, God is teaching me who He is. I noticed the hand of God in my past situations, even though I did not see them.

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN AT 18?

(I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR RESPONSES! :) )

Life is Just Too Short!

First of all, Happy Belated Mothers` Day!!!!!!! As a fellow mother, I want to let every hard working, `bout they business, fabulous, independent mothers know that you are appreciated, and you are doing a great job! That's me and my little prince!

Lately, I have been thinking about how precious life is, and how the people I love mean soooo much to me. I am re-realizing what is important out of life, and just how much I tend to "sweat the small stuff". Every other night you see on the news how young people are dying, sometimes by ignoract acts of violence, and sometimes just dropping dead. My uncle passed away 2 months ago, cause unknown, he was just sitting on his couch when he suddenly start to grasp for air, grabbing at his heart. Never knowing that very moment would be his last.

I am determined, and I mean determined, to live life to the absolute FULLEST! I will no longer live with limitations. I am determined not to let anything, or anyone take my joy, to make me sad. It is just not worth it! The things that families and friends fight over are oftentimes so petty, that it's not even worth energy. Life is too short to carry any guilt or grudges.

I encourage everyone reading this to call and ask for forgiveness with anyone who you have done wrong by.

I encourage everyone reading this is forgive anyone who has done wrong by you.

I encourage everyone reading this to forgive THEMSELVES.

I encourage everyone to smile longer, laugh harder, and float, not walk through this precious time God has allowed us to be here. There is someone who had plans for today, but did not wake up. Every moment you have on this earth is so precious. I promise myself that whatever this life tries to throw at me, I will successfully conquer, for God tells us that we are more than conquerers! I promise myself to wear my smile as a second skin; always glowing, always bringing joy to the next person, for you do not know what they may be going through.

Below is a confidence poem from the book "The Secret". It encourages me everyday to love, live and laugh.

It reads:

I PROMISE MYSELF
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worth while in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of
others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile
to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I
have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud word, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side,
so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

--Christian D. Larson

Dream Board

We all have dreams. We all have those childhood fantasies that followed us from our innocent childhoods; though some varied, changed, or just flat out lost our interest. As a grown woman, one dream of mine still remains the same. Being successful. Drake and Trey Songz sang it best, as success if something I believe everyone wants to achieve.

But despite everyones strong willed desire for betterment and achievement, not everyone definition of success is the same. My definition of success may differ from yours, and vice versa. And that is a critical statement in planning your goals, executing the path to them, and successfully maintaining them. Never should you compare what you want out of life to another, who knows what their journey is like. You will probably never know, not to mention the risk of trying to find out.

My personal definition of success is happiness. Happiness and fulfillment in every area of my life. Every area;
including my finances, relationship with God, relationship with myself (I am my own best friend), relationship with family and friends, career, social life, career, education, the list goes on.

A avid fan of inspirational Christian literature, a "dream board" has been a term I have stumbled across too many times to ignore. A "dream board" is a board composed of all the things you want to accomplish, receive and/or do. A collage, composed of your life's personal dreams. After it is completed, you can hang it by your mirror in your bedroom, or in the bathroom, or by the front door of your home, to serve as a reminder of what your purpose is. Here are a few examples of a Dream Board.

Here are a few examples of what is on MY dream board!

Growing Closer to God everyday of my life. My relationship with Him is the only one that really matters.

I will launch on very own foundation, "Daughters of the King", geared and catering to young minority girls in the urban areas of the country. Founded on empowerment, love, and God, my foundation will encourage, and inspire girls to greatness!

Currently in production, my first published book will be finished, and available for retail THIS SUMMER! Thank you God for vision and annointing! And you will be the first to know!

And a convertible wouldn't hurt either! Nothing like driving in downtown Chicago, wind through your hair and the pedal to the metal on those summer 80 degree nights with the city engulfing you. Make you feel like you made it.


When I am 100% fulfilled in all of the above areas, to me, I AM SUCCESSFUL. I do not need the latest and greatest runway fashions, the speediest car, roomest house, or a dozen of friends constantly surrounding me for validation. God told me to stop trying to fit in, when He made me to stand out. When my relationship with God is in good standing, each day that passes we grow closer together, nothing can take my joy. The world did not give it to me, so the world can not take it away.

What would be on your Dream Board? I encourage you to make one, and even upload it. I'd love to see it! You never know who will draw inspiration from you.

Goapele- Closer

**This songs never fails to make me feel better. Every day is one step closer, though that step may be small, it is one less step to my destiny.

Golddigging vs. Standards

It's 2010 ladies and gentlemen, and the word golddigger is thrown around so loosely any woman wanting a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of is handcuffed, taken to the plank, and called a "golddigger!", right before she's tossed off to her death. Ok, maybe it does not go THAT far, but goldddigger is a term that I find incredibly misunderstood and inaccurate for a number of reasons.

First of all, I am 100% convinced that the word golddigger was invented by a man. Why wouldn't it be? Do you think a woman would create a word so offensive when she desires a man to be....oh how do I word it...oh yeah, a man. It seems when a woman desires a man who actually acts like one; a provider, father, and leader, and of course somewhat financial stable, she is demeaned, looked down upon, and cursed as if she's asking for too much.

Growing up with a dad in my home, I am nothing short of a daddy's girl. I am the epitome of a spoiled brat, and that is something I am working on. I am a work in progress! Being born in the Woodland Projects in Cleveland,Ohio to a two family house, to the infamous East Cleveland, to the Leave it to Beaver gated community of the good ole` burbs, all glory to God I have never experienced lack. Through all the struggles my parents endured, I never knew about the likes of one. My needs were always met, regardless of what the world attempted to break us down. My father is the epitome of what you would call a MAN. A man's man. He's a big brother, that crazy uncle, the coolest male friend, and the strict father all balled up into one. So I know what it is like to be taken good cared of. I am used to greatness. I am accustomed to having more than enough; I know that blessings literally stalk me. I enjoy the finer things out of life, why else would God give me expensive taste?

But the difference between a golddigger and a woman of my caliber is that I have my own. Thanks to God, I have my own car, own house, educated by the best schools money can buy, and the mind and relationship with Christ to endure it all, and continue towards success. 50 Cent said it best, "It don't matter if I leave her, she got her own Visa." A golddigger is 100% dependent on what her "sponsor" (oh, thanks Teiarra Mari) gives her. She does not have her own, so in order to maintain a lifestyle, said golddigger is always salivating on all fours (both literally and physically) for her next sponsor, or as I like to call them, pimps.

Read this excerpt from a recent interview with Diamond, I mean, LisaRaye McCoy from Black Men's Magazine on her alleged gold digging tendencies.

"The perception that they have of me-I could give a damn about. I dug for gold in highschool. I'm a platinum girl now. I'm an international person now. I don't even like taking out the trash. I don't dig for anything. I don't have a garden either. Every relationship that you embark on is some kind of business relationship. You have to protect yourself... So you better look for someone that's going somewhere who's trying to take you with them."

I actually agree with what she is saying...not so much the trash part but the point that she made is well taken and validated. Should we NOT be looking for a man who gots it going on, just as equally as we got it going on? Why is that frowned upon? Why are we quick to be judged by the ugly term golddigger because we want some type of stability in our relationships? Since when was it ok to be homeless, or living paycheck to paycheck?

Money is NOT everything. It will not buy you love, happiness, or whatever else you think you need to be a whole person. But money is needed to survive. You need money for just the basics out of life, why are women criticized for having standards? You can work at UPS, you don't have to own it. I am sure that about 70% of women in general would be content with a man who does not make six figures, I sure am. I am also content with a man who may be making less than I am. It is more so about a man's motivation to be somewhere, to go somewhere. I am ok with you working entry level at your marketing firm, but a driven man with set goals, self-made, and determined to have a better life is so sexy and attractive. Men it is not about your bank acoount, but about your ambition. Do you have any? Are you satisfied living in your mothers basement? If so, than you are certainly not the man for me, does that make me a golddigger?

Does it make a woman a golddigger if she wants her man to be equally, or at least somewhat equally yoked to her? Does it make a woman a golddigger if she desires a man with potential, than a guy who is A-OK with a $10.00 hour job? The term golddigging is nothing less than a man's excuse for irresponsibility. An excuse for selfishness, an excuse for tit for tat. Why can't a woman have standards? Especially a woman who knows her worth, a woman of virtue, a Proverbs 31 woman. Why should she settle for a Big Mac when she can have Hyde Park's Steakhouse? If having standards, and wanting a man to be financially stable enough to when and if you are in a bind, and may need temporary financial assistant is capable of helping, instead of us both looking at each other dumb, then yes, I am digging, digging, digging, for gold. Love pays not nan bill. Not many women get married to a man who does not have a job, or who is at least not looking for one, hence the word motivation. A man is naturally born a provider and a protector. Why at the slightest gasp some men flee these responsibilites, grasping at the term golddigging as an excuse for chilvary.

Your worth requires it, he'll admire it and he'll see you are priceless. As long as you have your own, dig, girls, dig!

Thoughts?

Racism Alive and Well in 2010?!

Read This Invitation To The “Compton Cook Out,” Held at UC San Diego February 2010 As Posted On Facebook:

“February marks a very important month in American society. No, i’m not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I’m talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.

For guys: I expect all males to be rockin Jersey’s, stuntin’ up in ya White T (XXXL smallest size acceptable), anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High/low top Jordans or Dunks, Chains, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc.

For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks-Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes – they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red. They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as “constipulated”, or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as “hmmg!”, or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises,grunts, and faces. The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these “respectable” qualities throughout the day.

Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto.

We will be serving 40’s, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank- which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered- or not."

WOWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Are you serious? When I first read this, tears came to my eyes. Is this really how we are portrayed? Is this how the white race REALLY views us; behind our backs, behind closed doors, is the N word spoken rampantly? I dont know why this weighed so heavily on my heart, especially the extremely offensive and sad description of the "ghetto chick" and how she dresses. The question is, who is really to blame? I dont think we have to look very far for the answer. Just turn on the tube, and the absence of successful African American sitcoms speaks volumes. The so-called "reality" shows portray the stereotypes of African Americans *coughs* (Real Housewives of Atlanta) *coughs*. BET is consumed with hip-hop videos portraying the description above perfectly. The women in these videos shaking what they mama's gave them dont help either. The Madea's, Shenaynay's, and Wanda's are fun and entertaining, but to a white woman in the good ole' country side of Iowa, these images are all they see of a black person.

Is there ever a point where entertainment takes it too far? Should entertainment be confined to "free speech" ,regardless of the images portrayed and the stereotypes enforced? When does entertainment and the entertainers become responsible for there actions? Or do they even have a responsibility? Do they even care?!

A few San Diego college students ignorant and mistaken views on my beautiful honey skin should not have this effect on me, but it does. This invitation was nothing short of stupidity, and offensive in the least, ESPECIALLY during Black History Month, where the powerful and under rated history of African Americans are actually celebrated and taught (unlike the History books in grammar schools all across America). Some suggest throw a "Trailer Trash" party, where the girls where cut off tank tops, wear dry, stringy blonde wigs, dirty sandals and cut-off denim shorts with a couple Coronas, and the men come dressed in cowboys hats, fitted light jeans, plaid shirts, and their sexual partner in tow, who just happens to also be their first cousin. Or some suggest, Yeah, let them have their party, but let them have it actually in Compton, then let's sit back and enjoy the festivities (pass the popcorn please...oh yeah and the police! Lol).

Now, this is not a dog at white people. It is actually a wake up call! The Black race is the only race where when one person does something, it is automatically boomeranged to the whole entire race. One disappointing Black athlete, and all of a sudden it's all Black athletes. We are the only race where what one person does, another person of the same color across the country can be discriminated against as a result. The media, entertainers, and the everyday working Joe's need to take responsibility for their actions and do better. This is not about a offensive party, it's about our distorted image that WE ourselves are portraying. For some reason, Lil' Wayne, Nicki Minaj and all the gold tooth toting, donkey butt carrying, different color weave wearing celebrities come to mind.

Racism is alive and well, even in the decade of 2010! My father, Marvin Wilson was alive when Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was fighting for equal rights for African Americans! Do you realize that that was NOT that long ago? Your parents, or at the least grandparents was alive when we were STILL fighting for equal rights! That is so amazing to me! My great grandmother and sisters lived in Jackson, Mississippi still fighting just to keep their lives! My grandmother and her sisters was the first generation of my family that settled in the northern states of Illinois, Ohio and Indiana.

So when you think about it, 1968, the year of MLK Jr.'s death is not a distant memory. Which makes it scarier than ever. Has any progress been made...at all?