Okay folks, it is 2010, not only a new year but a new decade, old things of the past is gone, and the word "Hater" should be one of the those words that should banned from the English language, or at least the Black community. It is the most abused, overused word I know. I am taking to my blog to define what exactly the word "Hater" means, and what makes a person one.
In my humble opinion, being a "Hater" is nothing but a state of mind. Anyone can be a hater, at any time, at any place, regardless of circumstance or position, because there will always be someone who has more than you, is more attractive, has a better body, job, (insert whatever else here) than you do. I believe everyone has been a hater at some point in there lives, the vital difference is simply the length of time. I, too, ladies have been a hater, I recognized it in myself, and I checked myself immediately, because hating is not attractive, it is not cute, and no one likes a envious person.
A lot of people get the word "Hater" and verbally expressing their personal opinion often confused. A professed fan of Black entertainment blogs, the comments left by the commentators are hilarious, and sad all at the same time. The word "Hater" is splattered around on every other commenters post like nothing. So let me give you an example of a hater to distinguish between opinion vs. hating.
While enjoying a fun Saturday night out with your girls in the club, you see a woman walk in looking a hot mess. You know the kind, bad weave, chipped polish, equipped with the cheap, shiny plastic shoes and clutch, and red and purple ensemble. Now, even though you wouldn't dare step out of the house dressed in such a way (lol), you arrogantly tell your girlfriend, "Girrllll, look at her shoes, she think she cute in those Payless, BOGO shoes! (Insert laugh here).
Would you consider this woman to be a hater? I do. She is a hater, simply because this woman, whom she does not know, made such a great impact on her that she not only thought about her bad outfit choices after she walked by, lingered on it, put it into words, told her girlfriend about it. What business is it of yours to comment on another womans outfit? Why do you care so much that you had to take time out of your life to comment about her? It shouldnt be that much of importance for you. You should be so focused on yourself and having a good time that you don't even have time, or the energy for negativity.
Another example, Beyonce is not hating on my bank account. Remember, a person who has more or better than you is not hating on you (for that reason, of course). Now, Beyonce may hate on my relationship with God, the fact that I have privacy and not in the public spotlight, or the fact that I was able to go to my highschool Prom, date and have fun like a regular gal, but my checking account I'm sure she is not envious of. So the next time you are tempted to say someone is hating on you, see if their driving a 2010 Lexus and your on the bus. A person living in a mansion and your leasing an apartment, they are probably not hating on your apartment space. Usually a person don't hate on a downgrade.
YES, there are haters in this world. People who are rejoice at your downfall, joyful that you did not receive a blessing, or angered at the fact of your favor. They do exist, ladies and gents, and sometimes there closer to you than you'd expect. Hate is internal. Sometimes people dont hate on you, but on what you have. They lack, so therefore they want others to lack as well. Misery always love company. "Haters" are not happy or content with what they have, and they are miserable at people who do have. Hating is not if a person doesn't like your shirt, or if Beyonce isn't there favorite artist. People can have opinions, and if their unlike yours they are not always haters. Haters are miserable, secretly depressed, joy-deprived individuals, making negativity jealous.
We all long for more, for greatness and the pursuit of happiness, and along the way we may think the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn't, but is it worth finding out? Thankyou Jesus for contentment, for I am satisifed where I am, but never complacent. Hating takes too much energy, takes too much of my time. I'm so focused throughout my day that after I finish minding my own business it's time to go to bed!
Recognize any triggers within yourself that may set off your hater alarm. It is normal, especially as women, it is natural for us to compete and be "better than" and to "outdo". But when you acknowledge it, subdue it and improve it, you wont be a hater, but you'll have them. And your nobody until somebody hates you...right?
