5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18

As we mature, we look back over our young tender years and realize all the mistakes we've made. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20; and it is so funny how AFTER the fact you realize all the red flags. AFTER the fact you see now what you should have saw then. But the trouble is not in making mistakes, it is in not learning from them. Test are always repeated until the lesson is learned. If you continue to fail God's test, you will repeat it until you get the message, learn the lesson, and do better next time. Making mistakes is the only way to grow, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. At least you know now not to make that same mistake again; labeling yourself as "insane" (trying the same thing repeatedly expecting a different result).



At 24 years old, there was some things mama just could not teach me. The best teacher is this little thing called, Life. Showing me the good, the bad, and the ugly. No amount of lectures, screaming or berating could keep me from doing what I wanted to do! And as I have gotten older, there were just some things I wished I would have listen to...

1.) A man is not chase worthy.

Ladies, we are not in the business of trying to keep a man who don't want to be kept (Poetic Justice, holla!) By nature a man is a hunter, he has the mentally to chase, hunt, and go after what he wants. The man in all cases should be chasing YOU! For you are the prize! If a man wants you, please believe he will SHOW you. A man will go after what he wants, and it will be clear, no doubts, no questions. He will actually make the effort to show his interest, and to follow through. And guess what, if he is not doing that, he is just not that into you! Period. You don't have to convince anyone to be with you. And I am sure you don't want someone who needs convincing.

2.) Credit really does matter.

Okay, so I am in the mood to get a new car for graduation! (And the church says, Amen!). First thing my mom asked me about was my credit. My first response was, "My huh? Come again?!" I had no idea how important credit really is! Your finances are so important, it effects everything you do! A FICO score 499 and less means, yep, you guessed it, you got bad credit homie! But there are many ways to prevent this from occuring. First, stop living above your means! If you are spending more money than you are making, you should take a serious look at what you are spending on, how often, and why. Impulsive buys, much? Do you really need your third pair of black pumps? Are you spending your electric bill money on an outfit for Saturday night? It is all about priorities.

When I receive any monies, my order of payments are as follows..

1.) Church Tithes/Offering

I pay 10% of WHATEVER I receive to God, FIRST. My job is NOT my source, He is. He provides for me everything that I need.

2.) Rent

It's pretty nice having a roof over your head, huh? It is so nice to have a place to call home. My home. I pay my rent, on time, and sometimes in advance because if I have nothing else to call my own, I have a place to go home to.

3.) Savings Account

After I pay the church and rent, I pay MYSELF. I put a minimum 10% in my savings account for a rainy day, future down payment, emergencies, etc.

4.) Other Bills

Electric, Phone, Cable...in that order. Priorities!

5.) Other Expenses

This includes money for gas, prescriptions, or any other expense that is a NEED that I may need to spend on throughout the month.

6.) Fun Money!

Now with fun money, you can either save it, buy Starbucks, or shop. This is pocket money that you choose to do with, AFTER you have completed 1-5.

If you have credit cards, be sure to pay them on time. That is so imperative, as your credit reflects what you DON'T do more than what you DO.

3.) Self Love, First Love

You are the only one who is with you all day, everyday. You should be your own best friend; you should enjoy your own company more than anyone elses. Many times we find surround ourselves with people to validate us, to give us a stamp of approval. There is no reason to when God, is our true bestie, in that midnight hour and all throughout our busy, stressful workdays.

4.) Those That Matter Dont' Mind, Those That Mind Don't Matter.

Folks, it's time to take some personal inventory! Look around you, look in your contacts, and delete all the people who are causing you more misery than happiness...right now. *Waits* Now that you have that completed, you must realize how precious you are, and how valuable your friendship is! Only people who are positive, doing productive things in there life, doing it "betta and betta and betta" (shoutout Katt Williams!) with each passing years are allowed to befriend you. When you see better, you do better! If you are around slackers, who could care less, negative energy can transfer over to you. You need people who will inspire you, motivate you for better, not someone who goes backwards or stands still.

5.) Stop Questioning Everything and Trust God!

When I was 18, I wish I trusted God more. I wished I looked to Him more, had a deeper relationship with Him. I wish I would have surrendered to His perfect will. I wish I stopped questioning everything, I wish I would not have tried so hard, I wish I would have been so stubborn, I wish I did not cling to things God himself was trying to take away. I wish I paid attention to red flags and all God's warning signs.

I wish I knew Him better when I was 18.

But thankyou Lord, now He has me right where He wants me! Living with purpose, overflowing joy, unfair favor, and testimony to share, God is teaching me who He is. I noticed the hand of God in my past situations, even though I did not see them.

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN AT 18?

(I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR RESPONSES! :) )

#NowPlaying

Joe- "Miss My Baby"

Sooo mad Joe is one of my favorite artists...yet one of the most underrated! His voice puts to shame some of these artists out now. This song reminds me of summer. Just being in love. With whoever.

Making Progress...

I am not where I am supposed to be, but Thank God I'm not where I used to be!

Thank God for progress!!

Thank God for growth, vision, clarity, and perfected destiny!

I just spent the last 4 hours in the computer lab handling. my. business. I got so much accomplished, I feel so good that I made progress. Each day that passes is one step closer to my dreams. Yayyy, me! Lol

Sometimes I find myself doubting myself, coming down on myself. But I realized that I am exactly where I am supposed to be! God is guiding my every step, my every movement. I know that I can do nothing without Him, so I lean on Him and come to Him first and foremost to lead me on my way.

I encourage you to not look at what you have not accomplished, or what has yet to be done, but look at your successes! Look at how far you have come! Look at how much you've been through, and realize that you survived!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaha, take that, take that *In my Diddy voice and shiny suit*.

Whatever life throws at me I'm gonna throw it right back! I'm about my business! And when God is for me, who on earth can be against me?

Life is Just Too Short!

First of all, Happy Belated Mothers` Day!!!!!!! As a fellow mother, I want to let every hard working, `bout they business, fabulous, independent mothers know that you are appreciated, and you are doing a great job! That's me and my little prince!

Lately, I have been thinking about how precious life is, and how the people I love mean soooo much to me. I am re-realizing what is important out of life, and just how much I tend to "sweat the small stuff". Every other night you see on the news how young people are dying, sometimes by ignoract acts of violence, and sometimes just dropping dead. My uncle passed away 2 months ago, cause unknown, he was just sitting on his couch when he suddenly start to grasp for air, grabbing at his heart. Never knowing that very moment would be his last.

I am determined, and I mean determined, to live life to the absolute FULLEST! I will no longer live with limitations. I am determined not to let anything, or anyone take my joy, to make me sad. It is just not worth it! The things that families and friends fight over are oftentimes so petty, that it's not even worth energy. Life is too short to carry any guilt or grudges.

I encourage everyone reading this to call and ask for forgiveness with anyone who you have done wrong by.

I encourage everyone reading this is forgive anyone who has done wrong by you.

I encourage everyone reading this to forgive THEMSELVES.

I encourage everyone to smile longer, laugh harder, and float, not walk through this precious time God has allowed us to be here. There is someone who had plans for today, but did not wake up. Every moment you have on this earth is so precious. I promise myself that whatever this life tries to throw at me, I will successfully conquer, for God tells us that we are more than conquerers! I promise myself to wear my smile as a second skin; always glowing, always bringing joy to the next person, for you do not know what they may be going through.

Below is a confidence poem from the book "The Secret". It encourages me everyday to love, live and laugh.

It reads:

I PROMISE MYSELF
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worth while in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of
others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the
greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile
to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I
have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud word, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side,
so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

--Christian D. Larson

Dream Board

We all have dreams. We all have those childhood fantasies that followed us from our innocent childhoods; though some varied, changed, or just flat out lost our interest. As a grown woman, one dream of mine still remains the same. Being successful. Drake and Trey Songz sang it best, as success if something I believe everyone wants to achieve.

But despite everyones strong willed desire for betterment and achievement, not everyone definition of success is the same. My definition of success may differ from yours, and vice versa. And that is a critical statement in planning your goals, executing the path to them, and successfully maintaining them. Never should you compare what you want out of life to another, who knows what their journey is like. You will probably never know, not to mention the risk of trying to find out.

My personal definition of success is happiness. Happiness and fulfillment in every area of my life. Every area;
including my finances, relationship with God, relationship with myself (I am my own best friend), relationship with family and friends, career, social life, career, education, the list goes on.

A avid fan of inspirational Christian literature, a "dream board" has been a term I have stumbled across too many times to ignore. A "dream board" is a board composed of all the things you want to accomplish, receive and/or do. A collage, composed of your life's personal dreams. After it is completed, you can hang it by your mirror in your bedroom, or in the bathroom, or by the front door of your home, to serve as a reminder of what your purpose is. Here are a few examples of a Dream Board.

Here are a few examples of what is on MY dream board!

Growing Closer to God everyday of my life. My relationship with Him is the only one that really matters.

I will launch on very own foundation, "Daughters of the King", geared and catering to young minority girls in the urban areas of the country. Founded on empowerment, love, and God, my foundation will encourage, and inspire girls to greatness!

Currently in production, my first published book will be finished, and available for retail THIS SUMMER! Thank you God for vision and annointing! And you will be the first to know!

And a convertible wouldn't hurt either! Nothing like driving in downtown Chicago, wind through your hair and the pedal to the metal on those summer 80 degree nights with the city engulfing you. Make you feel like you made it.


When I am 100% fulfilled in all of the above areas, to me, I AM SUCCESSFUL. I do not need the latest and greatest runway fashions, the speediest car, roomest house, or a dozen of friends constantly surrounding me for validation. God told me to stop trying to fit in, when He made me to stand out. When my relationship with God is in good standing, each day that passes we grow closer together, nothing can take my joy. The world did not give it to me, so the world can not take it away.

What would be on your Dream Board? I encourage you to make one, and even upload it. I'd love to see it! You never know who will draw inspiration from you.

Goapele- Closer

**This songs never fails to make me feel better. Every day is one step closer, though that step may be small, it is one less step to my destiny.